A New Tradition

I love family traditions – no matter how big or how small.  Our family has one tradition we do on Christmas Eve, which this year may have taken on new meaning.
 
Each day when I come home I go into my office, set my keys and my wallet on my desk, and then I toss whatever change I have in my pockets into a large bowl.
 
For about the last 15 years on Christmas Eve, I take the bowl full of change to the family room where my wife Jeanette and three daughters each take a guess at how much money is in the bowl.  The winner would get 50%, second place 20%, and so on, so everyone won at least something.  I then collect the pieces of paper with their guesses and off to the bank I went to count the change – thank goodness for those change counting machines!  This year’s winner was my wife Jeanette with a guess of $200, with a total of $212 as the amount in the bowl.
 
We are blessed to have 3 daughters, ages 26, 24 and 21.  In September of this past year, our youngest turned 21 years old and I had mentioned to my wife Jeanette that maybe it was time to redo our wills and review our legal papers.  In November we met with our lawyer, who also is a good friend and had our wills redone, executed living wills and powers of attorney.
 
Our oldest is spending a year in Chicago, the middle daughter lives and works in DC and the youngest is now just starting her last year away at college so we do not get to see the girls all that often, unless we travel to them.   So when the five of us were together for Thanksgiving, I told the girls we were in the process of making some changes and that when they return for Christmas we would all sit down and explain to them what was done.
 
Christmas rolls around and we are all together at the kitchen table, guessing how much change is in the jar.  Once all the guesses were done I tell them that their Mom and I would like to talk to them about something. 
 
We explained that we redid our wills and legal papers, and what would happen if either of us were to pass away.  I must admit I was rather nervous telling our children what would happen in the event that their Mom and I were to die together – for those of you that have children you will understand what happened next. The youngest cried, the oldest kept eerily quiet, and the middle daughter asked about 10 questions.  By the way, the one with all the questions had already been named the executrix of the estate!  Their responses could have easily been predicted. 
 
We told them to rely on our good friend, the attorney mentioned above as he will be able to help and guide them through the process if something were to happen.  It was also explained to them where the wills, other important papers, and our life insurance policies were kept.
 
After we spoke about the legal and financial matters the girls asked questions about life support, burial arrangements – I told them I would like two things at my funeral, bagpipes and an open bar, because if there is an open bar I know for sure ALL of my friends will be there!  One of our daughters asked if it was a good idea to have Living Wills on each of them, which we answered yes, those documents are being prepared as of the writing of this article. 
Then came a big surprise when our oldest daughter suggested that each year when we get together to guess how much money is in the jar, we take a few minutes to have what she called the “Haugh Business Meeting”!
 
If you have adult children or have clients that have adult children, I suggest that you sit down with them and have a frank and honest discussion about these important matters.  You never know, like us you might be surprised by how grown up they are and you might just start a new tradition.
 
Happy New Year!